Porn Loser

A bargain at any price

The Loser spends the first portion of this scene trying to convince Chelsie that she should be nervous and that everyone she's ever known in her entire life is going to find out about this. He seems to be trying to talk her out of doing the scene, which is amazing considering she's one hot piece of ass--beautiful face, tight body, blonde hair, green eyes-and he paid her only $800.

Yeah, you read that right! $800! A chick like Chelsie should've added a few zeroes onto that to let a guy like the Loser fuck her.

"What makes you think you can do this?" the Loser asks her.

What makes the Loser think he can do this when we have hard proof that he can't?

So, after the Loser fails to convince Chelsie that she shouldn't take the money and shouldn't do the scene, she gets down on her knees and gives him a very enthusiastic blow job. And the rest is history.

As the scene continues and the Loser manages to pound Chelsie with his reasonably hard cock, we are left to ponder the big questions of life: What won't some chicks do to get into porn? How lucky are we to live in a world in which hot chicks will let total losers fuck them? And, isn't the pussy a wonderful thing?

Loser finishes fucking her and cums on Chelsie's face. All for $800. Bargain.

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Fuck her while you have the chance, Loser!

Ashley is so little that she makes the Loser's cock look huge. Now that's little! Her mouth is so small that she's barely able to wrap her lips around his tool, She makes him look like John Holmes! In our opinion, at this point, the Loser should've shut down the camera and asked her to marry him.

Of course, she would've said no. Ashley is young (just 18). She's sexy. She's beautiful. She's definitely not desperate. She's saving up for college, and if fucking and sucking the Loser is the best way for her to pay her tuition, we're all for it.

By the way, she's from North Dakota, and we can't remember the last time we heard of a porn starlet coming from North Dakota. The Loser might have thought to ask her about that.

The opening minutes of this scene contain the usual Loser gems, like him asking her to take off her clothes by saying, "Let's take a look at what we're working with here," as if Ashley were a tool he just bought from Home Depot. Stuff like that makes us realize the real reason the Loser tried to become a porn director: It's the only way he'll ever get laid.

The Loser manages to fuck Ashley in a variety of positions. He cums on her face. The Loser has his scene. Ashley goes off to fame, fortune and college. Everybody wins, especially the Loser, who goes to bed that night thinking he has a big cock.

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Living the fantasy with Hailey

It's easy to make fun of the Loser. He's an easy target. He asks the girls stupid questions. He can't keep his hand-held camera steady. His camera is always straying and picking up things we're not supposed to see, like other cameras, photography lights and clothes lying on the floor. Sometimes he has a hard time getting it up. His skin is pink. When a chick is riding him, he sticks his legs out like a corpse. He doesn't make much noise. He handles the girls as if they're sacks of groceries.

But the Loser deserves a lot of credit, too. For one, he has the guts to live out a fantasy that millions of us have had. Second, he always gets it up eventually. He usually fucks the girls pretty good. And he cums on their faces. So what if his technical proficiency is a little lacking. Okay, a lot lacking. But he's fucking chicks on camera. Hot chicks. And a part of us wishes we were him.

This scene, starring Hailey, a 22-year-old from Florida, features the Loser at his best, which means he manages to keep himself out of trouble. He doesn't say much. The shaky camera work is at a minimum. There's no pre-fuck interview. The focus is almost always on the girl, which is as it should be.

Hailey has long, dirty-blonde hair and a great ass. She measures 34-24-33 and checks in at 5'6", 102 pounds. She sucks cock down to the balls and enjoys it. She rides the Loser's cock, hard. He fucks her doggie style and she moans, "Oh, fuck me harder." A train can be heard in the background. "Yeah, fuck me harder," she says.

And, since we're saying good things about the Loser, here's another: He manages to pull off his most difficult fucking position ever as he slams Hailey in the piledriver position. She spreads her legs wider, clearly loving it.

It just goes to show you: Even losers have their day.

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Anything to be a porn star

At the beginning of this scene, Cosette, a 23-year-old college student with reddish hair and pigtails, tells us, "This is gonna help me pay my way through school." Now that's the kind of thing we like to hear!

At this point, we'd love to hear about where Cosette is going to college. We'd love to hear about her co-ed adventures. Maybe whether she's ever fucked one of her professors. Does the Loser ask any of those questions? Of course not.

"So, you have no problem with people finding out about this," he asks. "Parents know? Friends know?" And, once again, we're left wondering, Why does he ask these questions?

Fortunately, Cosette is so eager to make a fuck film that even the Loser's downer real-life intrusions can't de-hornify her.

"Are you nervous?" he asks her as she takes off her clothes, probably making her more nervous with the question. Questions the Loser could ask: "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" "What's your favorite position?" "What's your favorite thing about sex?" "Is there any way you'd fuck me if I wasn't paying you?"

Okay, even he's not going to ask that last question.

There's no way in Cosette's wildest fantasies that she imagined her first scene would be with such a loser. The good news, of course, is that she wants to be a star, and that means she tries hard, and that means we get a great scene, complete with Cosette gagging herself on the Loser's cock.

Cosette is the reason we love amateur porn.

The Loser is the reason these things are sometimes best left to the pros.

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You're on your own, honey.

"I wanna be a porn star," 20-year-old Alicia Alighatti of Virginia tells us at the start of her scene. She's got the looks to go as far as she wants. Nice, firm tits. Five-feet-seven, 120 pounds. Long, brown hair. Perfect measurements: 36-26-36.

But here's the deal: This is her first fuck scene. The Loser has been doing this for a while. He's the director. He's the pro. He's supposed to be the one in charge. Yet, there are times during this scene when we want to scream at our monitors, "Loser, direct the fucking scene already!"

Yeah, we know. He's having a hard enough time just keeping his dick up to worry about directing the chick. But when the girl's hair is blocking the view of her left tit, he should be aware of that. He should say, "Alicia, please move your hair aside." But he's concentrating too hard on his own fucking-this isn't easy for him, you know-so she has to figure it out for herself. She rides his cock. We're treated to a view of the back of his head. He's fucking her in the spoon position. She blocks the insertion with her hand so as to rub her clit. This is when the Loser is supposed to say, "Move your hand just a little so the guys at home can see my cock moving in and out of your pussy." He doesn't say anything.

Finally, things are going well. The Loser is fucking Alicia missionary style. She's moaning, really getting into it. Then, suddenly, it's like an earthquake just struck Loser Studios. He stops, pulls out, the camera seems to have been knocked to the ground, he mumbles something incomprehensible, we see her clothes on the floor, she's lying there trying to figure out what just happened, he finally shovels his cock back into her.

Jeez! Can this guy do anything right? Well, yeah, it turns out, he can. He can find hot chicks who love to fuck and are good at it. Girls who love sex, as Alicia clearly does. You are going to get off on this scene. Despite the Loser's worst efforts.

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Does your daddy know what you're doing?

Jordan, a 5'8", 128-pound, blue-eyed blonde from Kansas has a story.

"My parents have been swingers for a long time," the 21-year-old beauty
explains. "I wanted to do Playboy, so I figured, Why not try porn?"

That makes no sense at all. Playboy isn't porn. But the Loser doesn't pick
up on that. Or maybe he does and, for a change, decides to be smart and say
nothing. But then he makes his usual mistake: He asks her what would happen
if her father found out.

Mercifully, the pre-fuck interview finally ends, and Jordan gets down on her knees and suck the Loser's cock, and, as usual, he takes forever to get it up but finally does. The camera work in this scene is typical Loser-­off-the-set shots, views of his legs when we want to see her pussy, shots of his ass when he's fucking her missionary-but you know what they say: You gotta take the bad with the good.

The bad: Loser.

The very good: Jordan. Her beautiful tits jiggle and jiggle while he fucks
her in the missionary position, and this view alone is enough to make us
want to forgive the Loser all of his faults.

Bottom line: Jordan cums. Loser cums. And so do we.

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She's Alektra-fying!

Alektra is great. She's an exotic-looking, 21-year-old babe with a smokin' body: 5'6", 110 pounds, 34-24-34. She tells the Loser that she's never done porn before, but the way she fucks in this scene, it's clear she has big things ahead of her. Big cocks, big money.

The Loser, however, is another story. This is the best he's ever gonna do, by far. He's nervous. He can't keep the camera steady during the pre-fuck interview. As an interviewer, he's the worst, never knowing what to ask next, the opposite of a smooth talker. You'd think the girl, having never done a scene on camera before, would be the nervous one. And you'd be wrong.

When the sex starts, Alektra goes down to suck him off, pierced tongue and all, but Loser can't get it up. This hot chick is blowing his sorry limp dick, trying her damnest, and he can't sport wood. She takes his cock all the way into her mouth, deep-throating him like a pro. Maybe he's distracted. We hear cars in the background. Is the Loser's mother home?

Finally, he gets a hard-on and they start fucking. "What do you think so far?" he dares to ask her. She giggles. "It's fun." She giggles again. And again. Obviously, something about the Loser's cock is tickling her funny bone.

But you know what? Even the Loser can't ruin a scene when there's a hot chick involved. Alektra looks right into one of the cameras while he's deep-dicking her and moans loudly. Good stuff. She always seems to be aware of the camera, like she's fucking those of us at home.

WARNING: This is very amateur stuff. But Alektra saves the day. And our hard-ons.

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Allison Pierce goes deep

In the world of the Loser, all women are the same. They get asked the same questions. They get asked to do the same things before the fucking starts. "Does anybody know you're here?" "Why are you here?" "Can you take your clothes off?"

So, here we have Allison Pierce, a 22-year-old from Texas. Five-feet-six, 115 pounds blue eyes, blonde hair. Smiles a lot. Giggles a lot. "I'm excited. Kinda nervous," she says. Now, at this point, it might be nice to find out something about her. Maybe find out what makes her different from some of the Loser's other girls. But the Loser is a total Loser. He can't think on his feet, he can't put a rap on the girl, he can't have a conversation with her, he can't treat her like a real human being. Good grief!

So, as usual, it's left to the girl to save the scene, and Allison is up to the task. Deep-throating, eyes always on the camera. Allison's cock-sucking skills are a thing of beauty. The Loser doesn't deserve her, especially when she licks his balls...eyes, again, looking directly into the camera. Nervous? She sure doesn't seem nervous.

Neither does the Loser, who can't help but keep it hard throughout the scene.

One thing we really love: When Allison is getting fucked doggy style, her hair gets messy and starts flying all over the place. In pro porn, they would've fixed her up, made it seem as if a girl's hair stays perfect when she's fucking. In amateur porn like this, the sex looks real because it is. We even get a nice view of the Loser's cock penetrating her pussy from behind. The lighting is perfect, as is the focus and the camera angle.

Must have been a mistake.

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The Loser pours on the charm

Our mothers used to tell us, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." The Loser's mother should have told him, "If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything." But the Loser was never told this. Or maybe he was and he didn't listen.

So here's the situation, fellas. Put yourself in the Loser's shoes: You have a sexy, 22-year-old redhead sitting on your couch. She's wearing a red, strapless top and a short, black skirt that's slit all the way up her leg. She's in your house because she wants to fuck. That's the only reason she's there. But she seems a little nervous. So what would you do?

Put her at ease? Try to calm her down? Make her laugh? Talk about sex? That's what we would do.

But what does the Loser do? He asks Andi about her friends and relatives back home. He asks, "What're you gonna do if they find out?"

In other words, the thing she's probably most nervous about is the thing he decides to ask her about. Way to put the girl at ease, Loser.

But he doesn't stop there.

"Nervous?" he asks her.

"A little," Andi says.

"That's okay," Loser says. "So am I."

At this point, it's a miracle the scene ever gets shot, but give Andi, who's a paramedic, all the credit. She uses her mouth to resuscitate what should be a disaster and works his cock nicely. Even when the phone rings-hasn't the Loser ever heard of turning off the ringer while shooting a scene?-she keeps going until he drops his load on her face.

At least he's good for something.

See More of Andi Adams at PORNLOSER.COM!